Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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