when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
