y did u give ur computer a hand job?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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