its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
