There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
