i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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