At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
