i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
