just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
God, I missed his penis.
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