all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
