My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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