so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
