We're facebook friends in real life
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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