where am i from again
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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