The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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