yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
