I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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