she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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