called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
