The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
