Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize