i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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