dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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