Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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