I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
