You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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