I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
