I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
