Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Screwed.edu
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
