its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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