I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
