you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
