It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
