with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
