Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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