Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
