He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
