Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
