Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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