what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
