Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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