I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
