Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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