so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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