I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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