Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
