she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we're making bets on your personal life
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
What a dumb baby whore.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
