I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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