in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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