I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
