gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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