my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
