Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
