it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
