I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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