She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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