I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
