Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
