All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
