What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
