I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just found puke in my bra..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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