im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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