My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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