hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
